Meghan Markle and Prince Harry have unveiled their master plan to dodge the financial guillotine, boldly asserting, “This couple will not be broke,” despite plummeting from the graces of streaming giants Spotify and Netflix.
As the Duke and Duchess of Desperation, they’ve ditched their tiaras for tarnished crowns and embarked on a journey to financial infamy. In a dimly lit interview with a tabloid, Harry, sporting a monocle and a gold-plated calculator, outlined their Machiavellian machinations.
“We refuse to let the royal coffers run dry,” proclaimed Harry, his pockets jingling with loose change. “We’re taking matters into our own hands, or rather, our own wallets.”
Their diabolical plan? Enter the seedy underworld of digital currency with their brainchild, “SussexCoin.” This audacious move has left even seasoned swindlers scratching their heads, wondering if they missed the memo on royal racketeering.
“We’re not just making money; we’re minting it,” cackled Meghan, now known as the “Crypto Queen,” as she gleefully counted her ill-gotten gains. “Who needs royal endorsements when you have blockchain blessings?”
But wait, there’s more! The dynamic duo is set to cash in on their royal sob story with a series of tell-all memoirs, cunningly titled “From Palace to Penniless: The Meghan and Harry Grift.” These literary gems promise to dish out royal secrets with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer, revealing scandalous revelations like the royal preference for corgi-shaped slippers and the proper etiquette for swindling crown jewels.
“We’re not just rewriting history; we’re cashing in on it,” smirked Meghan, as she signed a lucrative book deal with a devilish grin. “Who needs moral integrity when you have marketability?”
As the world eagerly awaits the launch of SussexCoin and the scandalous saga of their memoirs, one thing is clear: Meghan and Harry are determined to prove that when it comes to their finances, this couple will not be broke – but they might just bankrupt Montecito in the process.
